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Hailey Kennedy

"AAMIR.   She’s just dragging you along. 

DYLAN.     I don’t care about being dragged as long as I get what I want. It’s symbiotic.  

AAMIR.     You deserve better than the kind of relationship fish have!"

I chose this argument to focus on because I was drawn to the fish comment - I think that can be interesting to explore further. Does Dylan think a symbiotic relationship is good? Does he think it is what he deserves? Does he not care as he just wants to do what he wants and defy his father? The relationships between Dylan and Tee and Dylan and Aamir and how they interact together is an interesting area to explore. Tee and Aamir, although not friends can see that moving to Bali and dropping out of university is a horrible decision for Dylan, but Dylan does not see the situation like this at all. There are different types of symbiotic relationships, and it seems clear that the characters view Dylan’s relationship in different lights. 

Research Question

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How are parasitic relationships viewed through different lenses? How do these different lenses adapt and change the outcome of the story? 

My question is inspired by page 12 of The Waiting Room where Dylan notes that his relationship is symbiotic, and Aamir responds with Dylan deserves a better relationship than what fish have (1.2.12). These lines got me thinking about how Dylan views his 

decision vs how Aamir and Tee view this situation. Symbiotic usually means at least one party is benefiting in the relationship, for example sharks and remora – the remora benefits by eating what is on the shark and getting sustenance, and the shark is not harmed. Another example is a clownfish and an anemone. Both of those benefit from their symbiotic relationship as the clownfish gets protection and the anemone gets fed. This is how I think Dylan views his relationship with his girl in Bali. They are both benefiting. This is referred to as a mutualistic type of symbiosis (Drollenger). I think Aamir and Tee see it the other way around. The girl is benefiting much more than Dylan, and Dylan isn’t really benefiting at all. This type of symbiosis is referred to as a parasitic relationship (Drollenger). I wanted to explore these relationships in the play through each lens of the characters and explore the different relationship types between the characters as well.  

Central Purpose

In this Research Report I provide my findings based on specific elements from a scene in the play The Waiting Room. To support my observations are references that include “How Codependency Affects Dyadic coping, Relationship Perception and Life Satisfaction”, “The Relationship Between Narcissism and Friendship Qualities in Adolescents: Gender as a Moderator”, and Codependency: Clarifying the Construct” as well as supplementary image references. This research is important because it will offer insight toward the development of the plays concept. I believe one of the plays main concepts is how young adults deal with decision making. Should they stay in school, drop out and get a job? Being in your early 20’s is a hard time for most people as they are trying to figure themselves out. Dylan Aamir and Tee are trying to figure out their own lives. Naturally, when Dylan decides he is going to drop out move to Bali and have a baby, this will disrupt not only his life, but the lives of Aamir and Tee as well who rely on him.

Main Concept

The main concept my research explores the relationship type of co-dependency and how it plays a role in The Waiting Room, specifically how it contributes to Dylan’s decision to drop out, move to Bali, and have a baby. The three friends, Dylan, Aamir and Tee are very co-dependent on each other and Dylan leaving would disrupt this. I think the research on this 

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connects to the play and could significantly contribute to the dynamic between the characters. 

Central findings

In the course of doing my research I discovered that the dialogue in the play and the dynamic between the three characters was one of co-dependency. Co-dependency is defined as an “unhealthy devotion to a relationship at the cost of one's personal and psychological needs” (Springer).  It was also “found to be associated with lower self-esteem and lower perceptions of interpersonal control, increased self

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consciousness, social anxiety and dysfunctional attachment styles” (Springer). This relates to the dynamic between Aamir as he begs and grovels with Dylan, trying to get him to change his mind. Aamir is very concerned about what people think of him and throughout the play he tries to win over Tee, who does not like him. He is in a codependent relationship with Dylan and in trying to become friends with Tee because he can’t deal with someone not liking him, he has entered into another one.  Another discovery I made was in researching narcissism, particularly in male teens. Some of the personality characteristics include “grandiosity – an unrealistic sense of superiority in which one considers themselves as superior and unique from others – exploitative, entitlement, with a correlation to aggression in male teens” (Picard). This relates to Dylan as he wants to live his life the way he wants, and he sees no reason why he shouldn’t. He makes decisions rashly and wants to do something that he wants to do even something so absurd as moving to Bali and having a baby with a girl he barely knows. While he doesn’t seem to exhibit any aggressive tendencies, the aggression could be lurking under the surface. A third discovery I found was the link between narcissistic behaviour and codependent relationships and how this affects overall relationships. This would explain a lot about the dynamic between the group and how they do not seem to very satisfied with their lives. In my research I found that codependency was associated with negative dyadic coping, more problematic relationships and a reduction in a person’s life satisfaction (Happ et al.). This study also found that codependency has a positive correlation to narcissism (Happ et al.). This would illuminate Dylan’s behaviour and explain the group dynamic to a greater extent as Dylan exhibits narcissistic tendencies as well as the codependent behaviour that is common to all three.  

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